On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
