I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
