apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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