How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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