okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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