Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
