I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
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