Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's always time for handjobs
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
