somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
we should paint friendship bongs
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