if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
