Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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