God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
