I met the friendliest cop last night
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
