I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
