I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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