I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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