I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
