Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
