My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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