Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
