hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Of course I have a pirate flag
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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