For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
