i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do vagina's smell?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
