Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
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Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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