how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
