I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
