I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
