New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
