Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
