i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize