I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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