small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
