Cold hands, warm shart.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
