I cockslap morals
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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