my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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