THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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