i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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