I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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