Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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