Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw a hot homeless man
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
