Having a random hookup so left but love u
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize