Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
