But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im holly from the hills drunk
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doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
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So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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