That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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