when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
