I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize