people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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