She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
