my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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