By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
look no pants
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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