Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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