Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
