You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There r osticjed everywhere
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I will be naked everywhere
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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