is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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