I heard we made out
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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