i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
