this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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