anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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