Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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