i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
