ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
