fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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